Estate planning isn’t exactly my idea of fun, but it’s absolutely necessary. Just like you’re planning for retirement, you need to plan for the inevitable.

If you have taken the vow of “until death do us part,” have you considered what will happen if you are no longer here? Does your spouse know and understand your estate plan? Will your spouse be able to manage what you leave behind?

Estate planning for married persons begins with thinking about the future security of your spouse in a world without you. In many ways, you likely assume that your spouse is prepared to take over. However, this is a potentially dangerous assumption and one that should not be taken for granted. In fact, many things can go awry, both practically and legally, unless you and your spouse have specifically talked them over.

If you are the one in charge of the finances and maybe also much of the planning, then there is a special responsibility and difficulty in making sure your spouse is on the same page. As noted in a recent DailyFinance article, ensure that your spouse has the keys to the process and knows whom to contact and how to get the gears turning.

The original article, titled “3 Important Estate Planning Questions,” offers three questions to push you in this direction:

1. How well does my spouse know our financial adviser?
2. Does my spouse know where all our accounts are located and how to access them?
3. Are our wills and beneficiary designations up-to-date?

How else do you plan for your spouse if you make an early exit, let alone your own golden days of growing old together? That is a much bigger question and one best discussed with your spouse and competent estate planning counsel.

While the right plan will vary from couple to couple, the right plan must be known and understood so it can be successfully implemented.

Reference: DailyFinance (May 2, 2014) “3 Important Estate Planning Questions

It’s not that there are different estate-planning tools for each sex. But women are likelier to live longer, they’re likelier to be custodial parents and, speaking generally, women often approach the topic differently than men.

Do you think estate planning for women is different than it is for men? Gender isn’t and shouldn’t be important when it comes to so much in life. However, it actually should be something you take into account when it comes to estate planning. Men and women are simply different and often have different legal folds to their life.

On that note, MarketWatch had a bit of advice for women worth sharing in a recent article titled “How women can make estate planning easier.” The challenges that end up arising for women can seem subtle or can be outright life-altering. Either way there are important aspects to account for whether planning as a married couple or as a single person.

First and foremost, women tend to live longer. Living longer means a longer retirement and more medical bills to cover, which can actually mean a retirement crisis when incomes are wrapped up with a partner or a partner’s social security benefits.

Statistically, women also have a tendency to have custody over or offer care to their children or their own elderly parents. When it’s all said and done, wives and husbands may even think differently about the future and the end-game, but the wife may eventually live out the plan.

There is no reason to resort to comparisons of Mars to Venus, but there are enough differences between men and women that we have to respect them and account for them in our planning.  There is also no one solution as married women will have different needs than single ones and past or future marriages can change it all over again. It is simply important for women to plan and plan well. Fortunately, there is much advice to be gleaned on the topic, and the assistance of experienced estate planning legal counsel is essential.

Reference: MarketWatch (May 8, 2014) “How women can make estate planning easier

So how do DAPTs work in a marriage to protect assets? Do they need to be set up before the marriage? Can they be set up during the marriage?

Marriage might be that last step in bringing two people and two lives together. Nevertheless, that moment often causes one to pause, however idyllic a match may be. Cold feet are cold feet.

When it comes to bringing two financial lives together, there are some hard numbers to work through and some tough decisions to make before opening each other up to one another’s liabilities or the liability of divorce itself. You can use a prenuptial agreement – the so-called “prenup” of courthouses and tabloids alike. Alternatively, as pointed out in a recent Forbes article, titled “How To Protect Yourself In A Divorce Using A Domestic Asset Protection Trust,” you might have better luck with a Domestic Asset Protection Trust or DAPT. It’s a big topic.

The article builds the case that prenups and DAPTs are simply different tools to the same end, but a DAPT is a potentially more powerful tool. Prenuptial agreements work like a contract and spouses agree on the disposition or partitioning of assets well before that knot is tied. Consequently, there is that agreement to come back to when and if the knot is to be untied.

As business owners will tell you, however, even airtight contracts can be misunderstood, brought to court, and heavily litigated. Although you might win in the end, you certainly weren’t spared from the fight. A DAPT, as a trust, works to solve that by moving the assets in question out of reach so it’s not a question of how to untie those special assets from the knot at all.

That’s the basics of the idea, but there is much more to say, much more that can be done, and a few drawbacks to understand. The original article jumps into it a bit more deeply.

If there are any assets worth planning to protect, then it’s worth consulting your attorney about whether a DAPT will do the work. The biggest point about the trust itself might be that it can go a long way toward solving potential spousal creditor issues too. Take the time to look into the issue and the tools at hand.

Reference: Forbes (May 15, 2014) “How To Protect Yourself In A Divorce Using A Domestic Asset Protection Trust

Not only can dementia lead to poor financial decision-making; it can also make sufferers susceptible to financial fraud.

You cannot predict whether or not you or your spouse will develop dementia later in life. But because dementia is such a real possibility to face for many households, it is one better faced sooner rather than later. Proper planning can reduce the inevitable stress on all concerned.

The issue of dementia in planning was recently addressed by MarketWatch in article titled “Stunning study on dementia, couples and money.” The results of the study mentioned are multifaceted. However, there is one obvious data point upon which the article rotates – the vast majority of households turn over financial control to the unimpaired spouse once the original leader of family finances shows signs of dementia. Unfortunately, dementia doesn’t work that way; it’s far too subtle. This means that many households may have waited too long, and then the unimpaired spouse is left to learn all of the finances and pick up any broken pieces from a spouse who may be unable to fully account for it all. That is a glass half empty, unfortunately.

So how do you fight against so subtle an affliction and a tide of impairment affecting (as far as we can tell) fully 22% of Americans over the age of 71? You plan early and spouses plan together. In fact, there is much to do and it is all about starting early. The original article, as it happens, also offers a helpful bit of wisdom with five practical tips.

Are you an adult child working to assist your aging parents? Then some of these tips are critical to share with your parents sooner rather than later.

Reference: MarketWatch (June 2, 2014) “Stunning study on dementia, couples and money”